Discussing Adolescence

That dreadful time has come where you must discuss with your child how, and why their body is changing. What is with all this hair? When can I get a bra? What is this sticky stuff in my underwear? Can I start to shave yet? These are all questions that most parents find themselves answering once that special time has come. The truth is, the sooner you arm yourself with the answers to these questions the easier it will be when the time arrives.

The first thing to consider when addressing these questions is the gender of the child. Often it is easiest for a child to speak to someone of the same gender regarding these rising questions. That said, it is more significant that the information come from someone who is close to the child and trusted, rather than just finding anyone of the same gender. It is also important to not over load the child with information. You do not want to rush providing the child with facts, as it is imperative to discuss all topics regarding puberty, including sex. Answering questions as they come can offer the child time to think over what has been discussed. It is completely okay to tell the child, “that is enough questions for today.” The changes will not happen overnight, despite the feeling that it is happening so quickly.

When talking with your child there may be some questions that are hard to answer. There is no reason to feel ashamed if you do not know the answer. With today’s technological advances anyone can type anything into a search engine, and find many articles regarding similar topics. If you do not know the answer tell the child the truth. Let them know that you will find the answer, and a more desirable solution would be to work with the child to find the answer. By letting the child know that you do not know the answer, it can help the child to realize that they are not alone in misunderstanding the subject. This can really help you build a stronger bond of trust, rather than providing the child with an inaccurate assumption.

Another important thing to note regarding these talks is, other children may already be experiencing these changes or talking to one another about them. It is impossible to stop the gossip amongst children regarding the subject of puberty and sex; therefore, it is important that you educate your child starting at a young age. This is more important than ever before due to children maturing at a faster rate with the assistance of television, movies, music, and the internet. Enlightening your child before inaccurate information gets in their head is the best way to ensure they know the truth regarding these topics.

Whether your child is asking these questions on their own or not, you may want to consider having a night out with your child once a month (or more if possible). This night can be a time to catch up on what is happening in your child’s life. Engage them in conversation and steer them in the direction of certain topics you wish to address. Ask the child if anything has been on their mind, and how school is going. How are their friends, and has anything with their friends or classmates changed? Keeping the topics as casual as possible can help reduce the stress it may cause a child to discuss the matters. In the end, the important thing is that the child is relaxed with discussing anything with you, and that they have the information and tools they need to understand and be comfortable their own body.

For more information on discussing puberty with boys, please click here.

Information on discussing puberty with girls is coming soon.

Felicia Ainslie, Guest Writer

Felicia has worked in a variety of fields, and has enjoyed writing since she was a small girl. As a mother of three children, one boy and two girls, she understands that parenting can be confusing, and even overwhelming at times. Reading numerous books, articles, and more has encouraged Felicia to share her personal experiences regarding both the exciting moments of parenting, as well as the hardships.

Felicia can be contacted regarding her writing services via her Simbi profile.