Boys Vs Puberty

There is no easy way to go about talking to boys about what changes and feelings they will go through in life. Do you just tell them they stink, and to take a shower when body odor rears its ugly head? Do you try to tell them girls are evil, and they should just stay away? Can you just tell them to get over the fact that hair is growing from other places besides their head? As much as we would love to just ignore the fact that boys go through all this and more, it is not the right choice to make. Boys need to be talked to about their changes just as much as girls do. In fact, if you don’t inform your boys at a young age (much younger than you assume and hope) their friends are already feeding them myths and rumors. With bullying, and teenage pregnancies on the rise we must combat these issues head on.

Starting “the talk” early is one way to make the whole process easier. Puberty in boys can begin around the age of ten or eleven, so starting to clue them in on things before they will experience them can really help. It is important that the information come from a parent or other close family member before the other boys buzz in his ear to ensure they receive accurate facts first. Having a good bond with your child will also make them feel more comfortable coming to you with their questions. That said, do not be surprised or offended if your child doesn’t ask you questions or want to talk about these topics. While having a man do the talking is ideal, it is not always possible. Regardless of who is doing the talking, expect for the child to be shy, quiet, or even annoyed and angry for you wanting to discuss these personal topics. If talking is not your strong suit there is nothing wrong with printing out information, giving a book, or providing your child a list of appropriate websites to read so they may find the information they need.

You may be asking now, what things do I need to discuss? Well, first I would like to talk about how to address these personal matters. Upholding your composure during these discussions is critically important to ensure that your child will want to continue the conversation, and that they will feel comfortable coming back with questions. If your child comes to you with questions you will also want to treat them with respect, and be honest about the information. Using medical terminology versus analogies can also help the child feel valued and recognize that you know what you are talking about. That said, when discussing this with younger children you may need to use equivalences to further explain the terminology.

Now to get into the nitty gritty. Questions about shaving may start before hair even appears, and will be the easiest to discuss, but only the beginning. Regarding shaving, be sure to show the child how to properly shave, discuss the importance of being careful when doing so, and stress the importance of changing their razor before they see rust. Often before the hairs begin to sprout the child will begin to develop strong body odor. This can be a tough thing to routinely defeat as many boys tend to forget, not care about, or not notice how stinky they may be. Letting your child pick out their own body wash, deodorant, and body spray can help encourage them to use the products, but don’t be surprised when they do not tell you they ran out. Thankfully, once they develop an interest in girls most boys tend to develop a better memory when it comes to making sure they smell good.

The above statement is unfortunately the only good thing about a young boy’s interest in girls. Boys as young as ten years old can begin to experience erections, wet dreams, and masturbation. As embarrassing as these things may be to discuss, and even emotionally hard for the parent to grasp, it is nonetheless something that needs to be addressed in some manner. Rules can be developed to help handle both awkward scenarios, and embarrassment. For example, you may wish to implement a knocking policy at a young age, or perhaps allow your child to lock their door to ensure you do not walk in on anything private. Additionally, keeping a spare set of sheets in either a hall closet or the child’s bedroom closet is a good idea to help avoid the discomfiture of having to change his wet or otherwise sticky sheets. Concerning masturbation, remember that this is ordinary, and your child is growing into a man. Nevertheless, it needs to be said that this is a private manner, and should not be done in places they may be seen by others.

Puberty is not an easy thing to go through, let alone to talk about with your child. Try to keep topics light, and discuss things before they come up. Breaking up the conversations into short discussions over the younger years can provide your child time to think, and develop their own questions. You can choose to bring these topics up at a private dinner for two, or make a game of it. The significant thing is that the topics be brought up before they occur. Remember, as unfortunate as it may be, you might not have as much time as you think.

Felicia Ainslie, Guest Writer

Felicia has worked in a variety of fields, and has enjoyed writing since she was a small girl. As a mother of three children, one boy and two girls, she understands that parenting can be confusing, and even overwhelming at times. Reading numerous books, articles, and more has encouraged Felicia to share her personal experiences regarding both the exciting moments of parenting, as well as the hardships.

Felicia can be contacted regarding her writing services via her Simbi profile.